So my best friend was in the hole. The hole of sadness is what I'll call it. He kept saying he needed someone. Someone who knew how he ticked. Someone who he'd love to be there for every second. At the time I didn't quite understand what brought all this on, so I could only say I was sorry and give him a virtual hug. Then he said my name, like he was going to ask me something. Then changed his mind. So after some pestering, he said he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. Because he needed help, and I was the only one he could come to. Could trust. So of course I'm shocked into silence. Then I tell my best friend about it, because I needed someone to share this with. And I made her cry. I felt awful.
So after talking it out, things were back to normal. Or as close to normal as it would ever be. Then this morning, he finds out I told my friend. So he says that everything he said last night [he said other things besides the 'gf ' thing], he takes it back. So of cousre I get irritated with him. Then I stop talking to him. Later in the afternoon, I decide to talk to him. Into the conversation I found out something that I really wanted to know. The something that changed to him. The guys I used to like, likes me. But now that I think about it, I guess I never really stopped liking him. Oh well. So that was a big shocker, even though I didn't let it seem like I was schocked.
About 30 minutes ago, I cried in the shower. Because I didn't understand why. It's like the world is spinning backwards. My life isn't supposed to be this exciting, drama filled soap opera. It's supposed to be boring. Until the part where I get my track scholarship and go to this big college and possibly get drafted for the Olympics. Other than that; boring. Maybe get married, have kids. But nothing like this. Why me...?